One.Two.Three.......Four

As you all know the path to parenthood for Demetrius and I has definitely been a challenging one. So the difficult obstacles that we faced in the last six months didn't even surprise us. We knew we wanted to add just one more baby to our family so we decided to get on that :) When Phoenix turned 5 months old we found out that we were pregnant again while on vacation in the states. We were excited but cautious, naturally. Unfortunately, that pregnancy ended in miscarriage as did the following pregnancy in March. Just a few weeks later we were pregnant again and it seems like this baby is sticking around. Baby Hilmes Cuatro to arrive in the first week of 2017. EEk!

Phoenix & Gender Reveal

The Phoenix is a mythological bird that recycles its own life. It reemerges from its own ashes--reborn, renewed, and very much alive. Demetrius and I knew that if we were to ever be blessed with another girl that this special name would be hers. The meaning of Phoenix deals with rebirth, growth, life and longevity. Even though Phoenix will never replace our Adelyn Jade, a part of her will live on through her baby sister. With our hearts filled to the fullest capacity, we're happy to announce the arrival of our third baby, born on our angels birthday, Phoenix Jade Hilmes. 


After what was one of the best days of my life I feel like sharing more of our story as it may help at least one of you. The love and support from each of you is overwhelming and it's truly amazing. All of you have been here on this journey with us and I could not be more grateful for the kind words and the encouragement needed to continue down the path to parenthood.

Demetrius and I have been pregnant 5 times in the last 4 years. Unfortunately 3 Of those babies never made it home. I have shared previously about two losses (stillborn and miscarriage) but what most of you do not know is that I had another miscarriage in September 2014. I found out I was pregnant again the day Koi turned 6 months, which was August 2014. I went in for our first ultrasound when I was 8 weeks and baby had a nice strong heartbeat. Two days later the baby's heart stopped beating and Demetrius and I gained another angel. I do not know what made this loss different but I just did not wanna talk about it. I felt like I needed to grieve this baby alone. I felt like people would feel sorry for me and I did not want that. I have had losses before and the kind words from all of my family and friends helped but I thought maybe people did not want to hear about our struggles anymore. Two weeks after the miscarriage is when I ended up conceiving our second Rainbow baby who is now laying on my chest as I type.

I am wanting to share more of our story because what I witnessed yesterday was truly an act of God. Of course I did not understand why we had to go through another loss and relive all of the pain that comes along with losing a child in that moment, but now I get it. God had a bigger plan for us. He wanted Phoenix Jade to be a part of our family. He wanted us to be blessed with another girl. He wanted her to be born on her sister's birthday so that sad day for us would become a happier one. He wanted all of that and without going through what we did, none of this would have happened. I do not know what I did to deserve so many blessings but I can tell you one thing, I will never take this life for granted.

The main reason for this entry is to just say thank you. I reread all of your kind words and sweet comments over and over because that is what makes sharing our story worth it. I appreciate everything and will continue to share our journey if you let me. The day of my baby shower I saw a double rainbow and knew that everything was going to be ok with this blessing and God proved that to be true.

If you want to see me boo hooing, please watch me finding out the gender of Phoenix. It was truly a moment that I will never forget. 

click here ------>Double Rainbow Gender Reveal

Koi is 1 month

I can't believe that an entire month has passed since our little rainbow arrived. It has been an amazing month and I have been loving every moment of mommy-hood. The first two weeks were rough on me as I was healing and needed extra help, but that soon went away. Then I went for a slight jog at 3 weeks postpartum and that was something that definitely shouldn't have happened. I decided to just chill out until I get cleared by the doctor which hopefully will be at my 6 week checkup. I am just eager to workout and get some of this weight off. I happily put on 64 pounds while pregnant....eeek! 34 pounds have come off so far, but I am ready to get off the rest. I know that I can do it so i'm not worried about that part, but I am more than ready.
We have done a lot of things during Koi's first month of life so here are some of the highlights in pictures.

Koi comes comes

 first road trip to Frostproof, FL 

met his great granny 

went to his first restaurant, Miguels 

celebrated first holiday

took first bath

first trip out alone with mommy was to Walgreens

ate first bottle of breast milk

experienced tummy time for the first time

went to the mall

went to ybor

1 month checkup

rainbows big day

7 FEBRUARY 2014 IN PICTURE REVIEW

rainbow has arrived

In 2011, I wrote a blog post about the meaning of Koi fish and the love that Demetrius and I have for them. (click here to read ) I researched their meaning more thoroughly when we found out that we were expecting again, and couldn't find a name more fitting. Demetrius and I had to overcome a huge obstacle in life when our daughter, Adelyn Jade went to heaven. Losing a child is extremely hard and at times I didn't know if we would ever find happiness again. Even though life threw us an unwanted curve ball, Demetrius and I have made it to easier and happier times.

Koi symbolize levels of strength and perseverance that people display through the trials and tribulations of life. They also represent strong individuals who have overcome struggles and hardships and I for sure feel that my hubby and I have definitely done that. Koi is our living proof that with love and much needed support, you can make it through anything. With our hearts filled with joy and happiness, I am excited to share with all of you our rainbow, our son, our Koi Winston Hilmes.  

 

Happy New Year

I can’t believe another year is coming to an end. It really has gone by extremely fast and I’m actually thankful for that. 2013 started off rough that’s for sure. Being diagnosed with a thyroid disorder and having our hopes crushed again with a miscarriage shortly after wasn't what I had in mind for the beginning of my year. But with the support of my amazing husband and the love from all of my family and friends, I was able to overcome all of that and make the year a better one. I hope each and every one of you had a great 2013 and will have an even better 2014. I love you all.

Highlights of 2013: 

Celebrating the end of 2012 with the ones I love most. 

Seeing George Strait for the 5th time with my mommy in North Carolina 

We're pregnant with our rainbow baby expected to arrive in February 2014

Celebrating 3 years of marriage with the love of my life. 

A memorable time in Orlando with Jaz and Jamere. What a great time we had. 

Made another trip to Orlando to watch my new niece while my sister and the rest of her family went to Disney World.

Having my entire family over our house for Thanksgiving. 

Receiving good news from the doctor that my thyroid levels were under control and that we can start trying again. 

My best friend Rosemary visits Tampa from Tennessee. 

Memorial Day fun with our friends. 

Christmas brunch at our house. 

Visiting Lola in Oklahoma

Celebrating us in Antigua for our anniversary. 

I'm an aunt......AGAIN

Re-enlisted for another 5 years, 6 months early. 

Celebrating my 27 years of life with some awesome people.

Witnessed the love my mom and dad have for our angel Adelyn. 

Christmas time vacation in Charleston and Myrtle Beach. 

Reaching my goal weight  after getting my thyroid under control. 

Being showered at two baby showers for Rainbow.