Adelyn was supposed to be here with us and it
makes me sad knowing that she won’t be. I know that she will be here in spirit,
but I just want to hold her in my arms. I want to dress her in the “baby’s
first Christmas” dress that is hanging in her closet. I want to take pictures
in front of her first Christmas tree. I want to do all of those things that you
do on your child’s first Christmas, but I know that’s never going to happen. This
Christmas is going to be a difficult one, but with the love and support of my
family/friends, I know that I will get through it.
To
make 2012 even better, I received more disappointing news last week when I was
diagnosed with postpartum thyroiditis. It’s inflammation of the thyroid gland
that develops within the first year after childbirth. I noticed that I starting
gaining back the weight that I lost after delivery and sure enough, my thyroid
levels were all jacked up. This news sucks because baby making in the New Year
will have to wait until it can get controlled, which can take several months to a year. I
swear if it’s not one thing, it’s another. Our blessing will happen, I do
believe that.
All
of the things that happened in 2012 have forever changed me and I am thankful
for that, but that’s about it. I seriously hope that 2012 is the worst year of
my life, because I don’t know how I can have another year like this one. The
love and support that I continue to get from each of you, truly helps and I love
you all for that. Merry Christmas everyone. I hope that 2013 is all that you
want it to be.
